Week 3: Genesis 24 -35 and Psalms 15-21
Walking towards Canaan to his brother Esau after 20 years, Jacob must have rehearsed the forthcoming scene in his mind a million times. He probably played out every possible scenario in his mind, except the one that actually occurred. After Esau ran to greet Jacob, threw his arms around him and shed tears over the years of distance and unreconciled offense, Jacob said these words,
“…if I have found favor in your sight, then accept my present from my hand. For I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God, and you have accepted me. Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.” Gen. 33:10-11
In the chapter just before, Jacob names the place of his wresting match Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face…” Jacob told Esau that seeing his face was like seeing the face of God. What was it about seeing the face of his brother that reminded him of the Face he had just encountered the night before? To Jacob’s utter surprise, Jacob saw in Esau the complete opposite of what he expected. He saw love rather than hate, forgiveness rather than vengeance, joy rather than disdain. He feared losing his life to the hands of wrath after all that he had done to wrong Esau. Instead, he was enveloped in complete acceptance.
Jacob’s encounter with his brother, echoed the one he’d had with the God-Man that he struggled with, alone in the dark of night. As the two men wrestled, staring fiercely into one another’s eyes, muscles quacking in exhaustion, sweat and tears of frustration wetting their faces, Jacob saw something in that face that he did not expect. He had set off on his journey towards Canaan a self-made man, blinded to the hurt he had caused by his manipulation and pride. As he drew nearer to facing his brother, he could no longer run from his past. The prospect of meeting head on with the consequences of his past wrongs began to break down his pride. He was finally honest with God and with himself in his heartfelt confession in 32:9-12. “I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant…” he said. Humbled and afraid of what was to come, the Lord came to him to confront all of the fear, pride and false securities that Jacob had bolstered himself with to that point. The two of them had an honest fight. There is a sense that Jacob was the one who wanted to keep fighting. He had some serious angst. His pride was stubborn. His defenses were up high. In all of Jacob’s agitation, the Man stayed with him and kept wrestling.
This scene reminds me of when one of my children throw the type of tantrum that requires me to pin them down while they fight against me with all their strength. Like a wild horse, they cannot be settled or soothed. Holding them down with force, they refuse to look at me or hear my words of reassurance and comfort. Then, when they have nothing left to fight, they slowly start to surrender. Finally, their willfulness ceases and their breathing starts to slow. In their exhaustion, they melt into my arms and let me embrace them.
The identity that Jacob had as the “deceiver,” the manipulator, the one who would not put faith in anyone but himself, was deeply rooted. Like the strong will driving my children’s tantrums, that old identity did not want to surrender. When his stubbornness finally began to wade, and he actually looked into the face of the Man wresting with him, he saw something that transformed him.
The Lord could have changed Jacob’s name to Israel in any number of ways. He chose to wrestle with him, on purpose. God could have spoken to Jacob through a burning bush like He did to Moses or through a visitation from the Angel of the Lord. Instead, He got as close as two grown men can get and struggled with him face to face. Perhaps God wanted Jacob to see the look on His face. In Jacob’s most vulnerable moment, God wanted him to see the love, the forgiveness, the joy in His eyes, up-close and personal. I would imagine that is precisely what Jacob saw in the face of the Man who contended with him until the dawn.
Perhaps Jacob could not even comprehend what He had just experienced with God until he met Esau. The unmerited grace and favor in the face of his twin brother confirmed everything that Jacob had just encountered with God. So often, in my own life, it takes being the recipient of another human beings’ grace and forgiveness for me to realize what has already been lavished on me by God. On the flip side of that, unless I have had a real-life encounter with the unmerited grace and favor of God shown to me through the Gospel, I cannot accept the same when it comes to me on a human level. Jacob was able to receive what his brother offered him because he had been changed by the encounter the night before with God. He could respond to Esau in humility and generosity because he was no longer identified by his past.
May we also interact with those around us, even our enemies, with humility and generosity because of what we have encountered in the Face of Jesus. Where we should have met disdain, vengeance and justice as a consequence for our pride, manipulation and deceit, we have instead been embraced by love, grace and forgiveness. Where we might have expected to see the fire of God’s wrath as we approach him, we actually see delight. In His death, Jesus wrestled all of our old identities, the things we hide behind in our fear and insecurity. And in His resurrection, He renames us as we find new life in Him. Meet His gaze today. What do you see? What do you behold in His face? Take it in…take it all in.